Why do I have to struggle something I don't own?
Why do I have to do something when all I get is uncertainty?
Why do I have to fix something I don't even know whether or not it's worth to be?
I'm so damn tired... Come on, everything is fuzzy! Some says I should not pull out, but how could I when I don't even get a single word?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Home, Pillow, and Love
Guw pernah nemenin kakak guw nyari kado Taon Baru untuk gebetan dya. Trus pas lagi muter-muter, menimbang-nimbang, bla bla bla, tiba-tiba dya ngomong kayak gini, "Wah, cowok loe nanti minimal harus kayak guw nih"
Woooo, really... That may sound like he's so full of himself, but I dare say he's not bragging! I've known him for years, and I can guarantee he's really a good man... He might be unromantic guy (honestly), but he always tries to give his care to his dearest in his own way, though I have to admit it's kinda clumsy. Well but still, I think his way may not be working to make someone to be "attracted" to him...
Anyway, the point is in my opinion, there are 3 different feelings toward people we cherish. People we cherish don't have to always be the opposite sex, it's just that we need to feel that those people are around us.
HOME
The 'home' here is not the literary house or building, but it's somewhere you'll always come back for. Well I have to admit, I feel comfortable the most when I'm inside my house, but I think if my family weren't there then I wouldn't call it home. So to me, 'home' means somewhere or someone who is able to make you feel save and comfortable the most and you can be yourself all the way you want. And until now, no one has ever been able to make me feel this way beside my own family...
PILLOW
Overall, 'home' may be the one I need the most for now. But still there are things I cannot tell them about. Well sometimes I can't even tell why I'm in a bad mood, or why I feel like upset, or whatsoever. And when that time comes, the first person I'll search is not my 'home', but my 'pillow'. Just like how it literary means, 'pillow' comforts you, and you can do anything in front of it: dreaming on, telling stuffs you can't tell other people about, being honest, laughing, and even crying...
LOVE
Okay, now love! I guess it's not hard to describe, but let me try my description. Love is insane! The more you love, the more it drives you crazy. At first you'll be satisfied only by looking him/her, and a little talk will make you feel like exploding. But once you talk, you'll over-enjoy it and crave for more so that little talk won't satisfy you anymore. Then maybe you'll want to share stories of life with him/her. And later, without realizing you'll be waiting for him/her to contact you, your eyes will always be searching for him/her, your mind will be full of him/her, and you'll be needing his/her presence around you. And that's it, you've just fallen in love and backing off won't be easy. I guess this is the lowest level of loving. To love someone is not that simple and easy, really... And love is blind, it is so true!
You need no reason to fall in love, but there are so many reasons to be in a relationship. I think love is not enough to be in a relationship with someone else. But still it doesn't mean we can have a relationship with someone we don't love... So love is one of a requirement to be in a relationship, I think... But to rethink about it, can we really be in a relationship with someone who can't make you feel comfortable and save? So it means, that person must be not only your 'love' but also your 'pillow'. The question is, are you able to 'love' your 'pillow'?
As for 'home', I think it's not necessary yet. It'll be when you're marrying that person. :p
Finally, what I wanna say is, can we choose whom we'll fall in love with while it's one of the crucial requirement of being in a relationship...? So when my brother said that thing to me, I come to think, wow it's gonna be a difficult requirement *lol*
But then, there's one question acrossing my mind.
What if, when you think you love someone, the person you're searching in the first place when you're in trouble is your 'pillow'?
Does it mean you don't really love your 'love'?
Or does it mean you love your 'pillow'...?
Woooo, really... That may sound like he's so full of himself, but I dare say he's not bragging! I've known him for years, and I can guarantee he's really a good man... He might be unromantic guy (honestly), but he always tries to give his care to his dearest in his own way, though I have to admit it's kinda clumsy. Well but still, I think his way may not be working to make someone to be "attracted" to him...
Anyway, the point is in my opinion, there are 3 different feelings toward people we cherish. People we cherish don't have to always be the opposite sex, it's just that we need to feel that those people are around us.
HOME
The 'home' here is not the literary house or building, but it's somewhere you'll always come back for. Well I have to admit, I feel comfortable the most when I'm inside my house, but I think if my family weren't there then I wouldn't call it home. So to me, 'home' means somewhere or someone who is able to make you feel save and comfortable the most and you can be yourself all the way you want. And until now, no one has ever been able to make me feel this way beside my own family...
PILLOW
Overall, 'home' may be the one I need the most for now. But still there are things I cannot tell them about. Well sometimes I can't even tell why I'm in a bad mood, or why I feel like upset, or whatsoever. And when that time comes, the first person I'll search is not my 'home', but my 'pillow'. Just like how it literary means, 'pillow' comforts you, and you can do anything in front of it: dreaming on, telling stuffs you can't tell other people about, being honest, laughing, and even crying...
LOVE
Okay, now love! I guess it's not hard to describe, but let me try my description. Love is insane! The more you love, the more it drives you crazy. At first you'll be satisfied only by looking him/her, and a little talk will make you feel like exploding. But once you talk, you'll over-enjoy it and crave for more so that little talk won't satisfy you anymore. Then maybe you'll want to share stories of life with him/her. And later, without realizing you'll be waiting for him/her to contact you, your eyes will always be searching for him/her, your mind will be full of him/her, and you'll be needing his/her presence around you. And that's it, you've just fallen in love and backing off won't be easy. I guess this is the lowest level of loving. To love someone is not that simple and easy, really... And love is blind, it is so true!
You need no reason to fall in love, but there are so many reasons to be in a relationship. I think love is not enough to be in a relationship with someone else. But still it doesn't mean we can have a relationship with someone we don't love... So love is one of a requirement to be in a relationship, I think... But to rethink about it, can we really be in a relationship with someone who can't make you feel comfortable and save? So it means, that person must be not only your 'love' but also your 'pillow'. The question is, are you able to 'love' your 'pillow'?
As for 'home', I think it's not necessary yet. It'll be when you're marrying that person. :p
Finally, what I wanna say is, can we choose whom we'll fall in love with while it's one of the crucial requirement of being in a relationship...? So when my brother said that thing to me, I come to think, wow it's gonna be a difficult requirement *lol*
But then, there's one question acrossing my mind.
What if, when you think you love someone, the person you're searching in the first place when you're in trouble is your 'pillow'?
Does it mean you don't really love your 'love'?
Or does it mean you love your 'pillow'...?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Ask, and you'll be given
Somehow, even though now is 2:36 AM, I feel like writing something.
Waw. Come on you should be amazed! *lol* It's ME you're talking about, and to mention it's not the time to stay awake for a good kid. ... Well forget it, I know I'm not that damn good kid.
Okay! So what should I write? *lol*
Ehem, oke, serius. Udah taon 2010 cuy, masih maen-maen aja, ckck guw... Yak jadi ceritanya sih tiba-tiba guw pengen nulis-nulis sesuatu di blog guw yang ga terurus banget ini, lebih parah dari kamar guw, hahaha~ Mungkin untuk pemanasan, hal-hal yang ga terlalu penting dulu kali ya. I'll give you a lil report about my grade (lah ga penting apanya itu wakakak~)
Yak jadi! Pas guw nulis post ini, guw di penghujung akhir semester 3. Abis belom semua nilai keluar sih, padahal hari hari (yang notabene tanggalnya udah berganti) adalah batas pengumpulan nilai. Dasar Fasil*om, deadliners gile, hahaha! *curcol :p*
Ya jadi, terus terang guw sangat amazed sama nilai guw. Kok bisa keluarnya segini?? Hwahahah~ really it's all thanks to GOD! He's really really wonderful, thanks God! Mungkin awalnya guw kebanyakan maen-maen kali ya, akhirnya sampe belakang ga ngejer deh. Akhirnya walopun pas UAS kayaknya sih nilai guw ga jelek-jelek amat, ga bisa terlalu mendongkrak nilai secara maksimal. Jadi sedikit menyesal. Kenapa ya guw malesnya ampun-ampunan, yaampun...
Untuk dapet nilai perfect itu susah banget ya. You really have to understand every details that it's not that you only acknowledge the lessons but you also have to master the whole lessons. And really, it's such a difficult thing to do...
Sirik guw sama orang-orang yang main-main tapi nilainya bagus. Ampun deh, dunia tidak adil! *mulai lebay hahaha!* Mungkin itulah deritanya orang bebal macam guw kali ya. Untuk meraih a perfection guw harus kerja keras dobel, itu pun masih bisa meleset. Tapi bener deh, kalo udah kerja keras, dan tercapai tujuannya, rasa puasnya juga dobel dibanding kalo tujuan itu guw dapat dengan mudah, ahahah~ belagu banget yak guw ;p
Masih ada 3 nilai lagi yang belum keluar nih. Moga-moga semuanya mendekati bahkan perfect deh! hahaha~ Well as "Ask, and you'll be given," I will say now, God please give me another miracle...?
Waw. Come on you should be amazed! *lol* It's ME you're talking about, and to mention it's not the time to stay awake for a good kid. ... Well forget it, I know I'm not that damn good kid.
Okay! So what should I write? *lol*
Ehem, oke, serius. Udah taon 2010 cuy, masih maen-maen aja, ckck guw... Yak jadi ceritanya sih tiba-tiba guw pengen nulis-nulis sesuatu di blog guw yang ga terurus banget ini, lebih parah dari kamar guw, hahaha~ Mungkin untuk pemanasan, hal-hal yang ga terlalu penting dulu kali ya. I'll give you a lil report about my grade (lah ga penting apanya itu wakakak~)
Yak jadi! Pas guw nulis post ini, guw di penghujung akhir semester 3. Abis belom semua nilai keluar sih, padahal hari hari (yang notabene tanggalnya udah berganti) adalah batas pengumpulan nilai. Dasar Fasil*om, deadliners gile, hahaha! *curcol :p*
Ya jadi, terus terang guw sangat amazed sama nilai guw. Kok bisa keluarnya segini?? Hwahahah~ really it's all thanks to GOD! He's really really wonderful, thanks God! Mungkin awalnya guw kebanyakan maen-maen kali ya, akhirnya sampe belakang ga ngejer deh. Akhirnya walopun pas UAS kayaknya sih nilai guw ga jelek-jelek amat, ga bisa terlalu mendongkrak nilai secara maksimal. Jadi sedikit menyesal. Kenapa ya guw malesnya ampun-ampunan, yaampun...
Untuk dapet nilai perfect itu susah banget ya. You really have to understand every details that it's not that you only acknowledge the lessons but you also have to master the whole lessons. And really, it's such a difficult thing to do...
Sirik guw sama orang-orang yang main-main tapi nilainya bagus. Ampun deh, dunia tidak adil! *mulai lebay hahaha!* Mungkin itulah deritanya orang bebal macam guw kali ya. Untuk meraih a perfection guw harus kerja keras dobel, itu pun masih bisa meleset. Tapi bener deh, kalo udah kerja keras, dan tercapai tujuannya, rasa puasnya juga dobel dibanding kalo tujuan itu guw dapat dengan mudah, ahahah~ belagu banget yak guw ;p
Masih ada 3 nilai lagi yang belum keluar nih. Moga-moga semuanya mendekati bahkan perfect deh! hahaha~ Well as "Ask, and you'll be given," I will say now, God please give me another miracle...?
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