Deeply from my heart, without a slightest lie, I never regret being born female. Really, I love being a female, even though it is not that lovable sometimes. But I never regret it, really. I even think, if God gives me a chance to choose, I'm gonna choose to be a female again. But sometimes, I can't help but envy how much freedom a man can have...
Sebagian besar orang di sekitar gw emang membatasi kebebasan cewek dengan seribu satu alasan. Banyak banget hal yang diawali dengan "masa cewek blablabla, harusnya kan blablabla..." atau "cewek kok begitu sih..." dan jaraannggg banget gw denger kata2 yang sama dengan mengganti kata "cewek" jadi "cowok".
Konservatif?
Normal?
Atau gw aja yang kebanyakan nonton film barat di mana orang barat memang sering disebut-sebut mendewakan kebebasan?
Atau emang gw yang keterlaluan?
If I am, then, why do I enjoy my freedom so much?
Am I violate your rights by doing so?
Why do I feel happy with that?
Why can't they let others have it, but not me?
Because people are good at covering their acts while I'm not?
Really, I am okay with every single special care you give to the others. I'm jealous? No. Believe me, I'm not. Why do you think I am not? Because I have a very big heart to accept it?
No!
It's because simply I think people have the right to give care to anybody they want. Why should I be jealous? There's no free love in this world of humans, really. Even if there is, the portion will not be 100% free anyway.
So I don't take it to heart when you wonder whether he has already had his dinner or not because you are not to make dinner if he has when I'm home and you know I haven't.
So I have no hard feeling when you care more to him than to me.
So I try not to complain when he comes home very very late after playing around and you say nothing at all despite the fact you don't like it, even though you always speak it up when it comes to me.
So, just because I am born female, I have to bear those feelings forever? So you expect me to be silence when you explode when I ask for freedom as much as his?
Really, sometimes I try not to care, but sometimes I can't...
No matter how hard I try, even though my logic understands, my heart can't...
I'm sorry I am not how you expect me to be.
I'm sorry I always do what I want.
I'm sorry I don't want to lie to myself and be someone I'm not.
And if you can't forgive me, then be it.
I'm not gonna change, I'm sorry...
I'll live with that...
