I finally found a good use of this blog. I used to think that writing a diary was stupid. I mean, why would you risk someone reading your inner thought?
But now I realize, that someone is you alone.
So yeah. Reflecting back of what I wrote in the past, I noticed some things.
Like, how bad it had been for me back then, and while I was afraid that I currently was actually as bad, I am apparently not. Kinda glad in my own way, although I don't think it is such a happy event either.
Being an adult is scary, huh. I guess I understand now, why it is easier for young kids to deal with life. The irony is, the one making the adult life so hard is actually oneself!
Ha!
But anyway. I just need to sort my mind, so let me say shits here. It is not supposed to be structured in any way, it is just a rumble.
Okay, first thing first.
I am a bit glad to read what I wrote almost a year ago, about the things I was not happy about. We've come so far, huh!
And yeah, you did a good job on your homework back then. Good job, you! Good job, me!
So, what is it this time?
LoL
Perhaps we just focus on different things? Like different things? Believe in different things? Have different approaches to things?
You are a focus person. You know what you want in your circle, and you keep your circle small, because you know it is enough for you.
And I, I kinda like a bigger circle. I'm a curious person after all, and definitely more adventurous than you.
So, I can see that a big part of your circle intersects with mine, and fortunately or unfortunately that part is also an important part for me, that's why it works out, that's why there is hope after all.
How about the other big parts of my circle that are not intersecting with yours?
Now. I think, it is not really because you have a clear black-and-white approach, although it is true to some degree, but more because on some parts you are at the opposing party. And also, you tend to have a strong feeling on things. Hence, it is tiring for you to deal with it everytime I mention them, and it is frustrating for me everytime you trash it, because, you think they are trash.
That's one thing, I guess, difference in interest.
Now, the second part, I think it has something to do with my low communication skills, and our big heads. It is unjust to discredit your communication skill when you are calm, but when you are stressed, you are a jerk. Basically. And thanks to your job, your mood is a bitch. There you go.
Isn't trying to understand that, considered as a form of support? I'm sure it is. The problem with me, is that I try to tolerate that without communicating that I am not happy about it. Here it comes when TED talk is actually useful: I compromise one-sidedly, and I expect something in return. Hence, you perhaps never realize that it is actually disturbing to me. And when I am in a bad mood, so are you, boom. And add our stubbornness and pride, double boom! Add my bad habit of over thinking, triple boom!!
So, there you go. But hey, didn't I promise I will try NOT to bottle up my feelings?
I should talk to you, I guess. And I should realize, we can't expect to get all of our emotional needs from one person, right? It is okay to do things I like but you don't with other people. That's why we have families and friends. Although it is a bit tricky because I like to do things I like with the person I like the most at that time.
You do try enough. I do too. I believe we are on the right track, because you try to understand me in your own way.
Another TED talk cheat sheet: sleep on it!
It's a good advice.
Well, I'll add that venting before it is a better practice.
That's it, for now, I guess.
I see now I have a homework.
