No, but, seriously though,
what the fuck do you actually want?

You are trapped in your own mind,
of your own disability to think.
You just feel, and although you have your reasons, you let your feelings win and dismiss your chance, and you let your pride to ruin what can be fixed and hurt necessarily.

So you said, this is not the first time it happened,
not the first time you talked about it.
You feel like you are not listened.

So?


What the fuck do you want?
You should do something about it.
Now.
Don't torture yourself more than this.
You're wasting your time.
Go and face your problems.